Valley Friendship Tour

Today was Alternatives Valley Friendship Tour the big fundraiser for the year for my work. Alternatives provides services for folks with developmental and psychiatric disabilities in central Mass. I have been managing a day hab program for almost 10 years now. We have 14 people that come in during the day and we keep trying to find things for people to do that they like and will be happy. Transitioning to unschooling thought has helped me in my work a lot. I take more time now to be creative in finding solutions that will work for each person. My favorite thing we are doing right now is one of the women goes to weaving class every week at the Saori weaving studio. She needs a lot of help to weave and at first she would only stay about 20 minutes but now she stays about an hour. Every week she looks at what she did the week before and like to touch it. She picks out her own colors and she loves to pull the bar that tightens the thread together. She will pull it two or three times so her fabric comes out really nice. When she leaves she will wave to the other members of the class and everyone will say bye to her by name.

Fifteen years ago this woman lived in an institution. She does not speak and she has no teeth and she keeps her hair in a very short buzz cut. When I met her 13 years ago I was really scared of her for a long time. She spent most of her time sitting on a mat in the corner playing with small plastic beads in a cardboard box. She would sift them through her hands for hours. When she got mad she would throw the box across the room and start hitting herself until she bled. Three people would be working with her to calm her down often having to hold her so she couldn't hurt herself. One time she punched me so hard in the head my glasses flew across the room. Now she's the cute old lady who always wears a hat and carries a pocket book. She loves coffee and will probably drink yours if you're not careful. She doesn't hurt herself or anyone else anymore. No one has had to hold her down in years. She's the lady at the loom next to you making a pretty scarf. It will take her 10 times as long to finish but she'll do it. I love her more than I can say.

When people find out I work with adults with disabilities they don't know how I do it. Because I can is the easiest answer. Sometimes when Liz is particularly difficult to like my mom will shake her head and say I think I would have killed her by now. My answer is always well that's why God gave her to me. Because I can even when I think I can't. I can love her. I can be her best friend. I can be the best mom to her.